Bling Bling in the ATL

Someone must have told runaway bride America that life was going to be easy; most people don't spontaneously wake up and decide they are going to run 1,000 miles away from their problems. Instead most people usually deal with the issues that are thrown in their way. This is for one main reason: Regardless how far away one runs, the problem will still exist.

America was never taught the skills needed to work through difficult obstacles in life. She could have been telling the truth when she claimed her life was being controlled by fear and she could no longer handle it, or she could have simply been suffering "cold feet," as most people believe she was.

On April 19, America called a cab and left home with approximately $150 billion dollars and no form of identification or personal items. It is hard to comprehend exactly what her issue was. It appeared things were really going well for her when she decided to run away. Her military was spreading freedom in Iraq, her Fiance was attacking the problem of Social Security, ramming John Bolton through the Senate Foreign Relations Committee and manuvering to re-nominate activist judges. Why was she running from these people?

After a few days of running, America ran into a small problem - she had run out of money. Instead of returning home as any normal person would do, America reported that she was abducted at gunpoint by a Hispanic man and a white woman who were driving a blue van – Democrats being the best plan she could come up with. She further explained to the dispatcher that she was calling from a 7-Eleven and did not know her exact location. She also claimed the Democrats had cut off her hair to conceal her identity before they released her.

This once sane individual had gotten herself into a giant mess and the best way she could think of to get out of it was to fabricate an intricate lie - a lie that would eventually waste many hours of law enforcement agencies' time and resources that could have been spent addressing actual crimes. She would have been better off if she had simply called her poor fiancé, George W. Bush, her hysterical parents, England, or better yet, a psychiatrist who specializes in bipolar disorders.

It is very true that people become nervous before fulfilling election promises and often need some time to get themselves in order to contemplate their decisions one last time. I would have hoped America’s run caused George W. Bush to question his decision. However, upon America’s return, the mandate was simply postponed. I think Bush needs more time to consider what he is doing, or at least purchase a good pair of running shoes so he can keep up with America.

// posted by MMIMIKA @ 2:46 PM