Bling Bling in the ATL

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Eminem finally came out against Bush. Yay. Nice video.

Karaoke was a bust last night, didn't go.

Don't like my job. Don't like the people. Don't like the work. Don't like the organization. Don't like the banality of the struggle to get to work every morning. Don't like the lack of parking. Don't like the coffee. Don't like how damn discreet people are and how you can't be funny or yourself. Nobody gets me, my clothes, my politics, my interests, my sleep schedule. Don't like the lack of pressure and how nobody gives a damn about anything. I mean its kind of quaint, being in the midst of all these quiet well-maintained dispassionate lives, but... who needs it.

I do like my wifi'd laptop with the docking station. But overall, this is not working for me.

O is coming to ATL in January, and maybe we'll go to Guatamala together in February.

Not that I have any money.

Lol. Just called the campaign to sort out the whole poll watcher training for this week/end.

K, the great miscommunicater, answered the phone. K and I almost came to blows several times on Sunday because she is completely out of her mind and misunderstands everything in a negative way. So, for example, I'm talking to myself. I say, "Oh, we're not doing Madison county!" Karen starts yelling at me, saying that a man just walked in who has been doing a lot of work in Madison county, and he would not be happy if he heard that we were not doing Madison county.

Anyways, today, K answers when I call the office. I ask her to get L on the phone. K picks up a minute later and tells me in a disapproving tone and asks me 'Where are you? You're supposed to be here, and I suggest you get her pronto." I tell K that thats impossible, I'm at work, in Atlanta. K tells me that L and the bald black man were very clear, I am expected in the office ASAP. I tell her to put L on the phone, which she reluctantly does. L and I have a little conversation about how K is fantastic at managing the office, but unfortunately, she's completely out of her mind.

L's still sorting out housing for me, so I talked with Ann, whose helping me with the poll watchers. As I left it on Sunday night, we had gotten a handful of volunteers to be poll watchers in each county. On Monday, they had to drive all over the panhandle to collect original signed forms, then hand deliver them to the Supervisor of Elections today at noon. I asked her how the hell she had gotten it done. She said she was doing 95 down Route 10 at 11:30 this morning, sprinting through the halls as the clock struck noon... lol.

Anyways, I'm going to do a little telecommuting from here in the ATL, though the pressure is building for me to go down there and stay.

One of the baby campaign interns has a crush on me. I told him I was bringing my own boy-toy this weekend, and he told me to leave the baggage at home, nuthin' wrong with a little campaign indiscretion. Then he invited me to be his Monica for the costume ball on 11/2 - men in suits with cigar, women in blue dresses.

Anyways, probably funnier in person.

Back to work,

- ATLMmim

Florida was massive. You can imagine the pitch - 18 days before the election, Edwards in town on 3 days notice for a rally. it was awesome.

I helped get ready for Edwards a bit, and worked on getting poll watchers for the panhandle certified. You don't want to know how disorganized that effort is.

I like the voluntary nature of all the work there - people come in when they want, do the work that interests them, leave when they're bored or have other pressing matters to attend to. When fish school there is an algorithm they follow that, roughly, realigns themselves with regard to the direction and proximity of the 4 fish next to them. Because each fish has the same algorithm, an awareness of all the fish in the school can be inferred. It feels kind of like that.

You meet so many people and have so many long term and short term tasks that you need to prioritize, until you've reached your capacity, and someone asks you a question and you stare blankly, cycling through faces and comments trying to figure out who the person in front of you is and what you can do with them.

The key to being effective is tapping into the people who are running the show, keeping tabs on what the overall goals are, even if you're not working on them, taking time-outs to process and recharge, delegating as much as you can down, and as little as you can up, and finding something that you're good at to work on.

Delegating was fun. I'd be in the middle of something, and someone would tell me, "get me 10K flyers with location info for early voting in all our counties by 3PM." I draft up a flyer, run into the volunteer room, shout 'I need a proofreader!' This middle aged lady with glasses painting a poster looks up and says 'I'm an economist, does that count?' I hand her the sheet and say, "get it back to me in 10 minutes." She'd come back to me with changes, I'd run it by leadership, add some legal schmegal at the bottom, then I'd go back to the lady and say, "If I show you where supplies and copiers are and get you some helpers, can you make 10,000 copies of this flyer on colored paper?" She says, 'yeah!' I run back into the volunteer room and shout, "Who wants to be my best friend?" Three guys stand up. I point to the middle aged lady and say, "Do what she says," and go back to my poll watcher stuff.

This weekend there was the Advance team from DC that came in to pave the way for Edwards to show up - put security, crowds, tickets, press, signs, demonstrations, counter-demonstrations in place. Most are bright young things named Todd and Trevor - 22 yr old men with healthy glows, great cheekbones and perfect blue shirt/khaki pants/docker outfits. Their affect is downright arrogant, they don't say much, and when they do, its in a low tone, and everyone does what they say.

Then there are the Bostonians - met one named A who was 50'ish, we watched a bit of the sox game together. He had shoulderlength white hair and beard, and would periodically pull out a paddle brush and touch up his hair. I wondered who he was and why he was on the Advance team, and I'm guessing he's someone not too important who worked with Kerry for a few years now.

I didn't want to leave, and I'm going back on Thursday. I wish this was my real job and that it wouldn't be over in 16 days.

In other news, the Sox won last night. I'm slowly getting into more and more trouble at work. My house is a cleanish, but all my laundry is dirty and I'm out of kitty litter. Jack brought me a live chipmunk when I got back on Monday, which I enticed into a coffee mug and threw outside. And I'm flat broke.

We will do stem cell research," he vowed. "We will stop juvenile diabetes, Parkinson's, Alzheimer's and other debilitating diseases. America just lost a great champion for this cause in Christopher Reeve. People like Chris Reeve will get out of their wheelchairs and walk again with stem cell research."

---------------

And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worth while,
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it towards some overwhelming question,
To say: "I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all"
-- If one, settling a pillow by her head
Should say: "That is not what I meant at all; That is not it, at all."

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22"The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham's side. The rich man also died and was buried.
23In hell,[1] where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus by his side.
24So he called to him, 'Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.'
25"But Abraham replied, 'Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony.
26And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us.'
27"He answered, 'Then I beg you, father, send Lazarus to my father's house,
28for I have five brothers. Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment.'
29"Abraham replied, 'They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them.'
30" 'No, father Abraham,' he said, 'but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.'
31"He said to him, 'If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.' "

----------------


I have done it again.
One year in every ten
I manage it----

A sort of walking miracle, my skin
Bright as a Nazi lampshade,
My right foot

A paperweight,
My face a featureless, fine
Jew linen.

-----------------

Now therefore, while the youthful hue
Sits on thy skin like morning dew,
And while thy willing soul transpires
At every pore with instant fires,
Now let us sport us while we may;
And now, like am'rous birds of prey,
Rather at once our time devour,
Than languish in his slow-chapp'd power.
Let us roll all our strength, and all
Our sweetness, up into one ball;
And tear our pleasures with rough strife
Thorough the iron gates of life.
Thus, though we cannot make our sun
Stand still, yet we will make him run.

---------------

Since the accident, considerable funds have gone into the science of stem cell research, robotics, and drugs to realize this possibility — to see Christopher Reeves walk again — to see him become the Superman we all believe he is inside. Like the Statue of Liberty, Christopher Reeves is the character of hope, self-determination as a people, the baby-boomergeneration’s sanctified hero, the emblem of determination to persistdespite the odds. This painting shows the Christ-like Chris looking up at his son who embraces his head with his little hands. During these moments of crisis in our political state here in the U.S., we desperately wait for a resolving factor to overcome this disease of ignorance, self-interest, and strength.

So. I didn't get up until 2PM today. I need an angry giant frogmarching me to the shower to get me out of bed. Where can I buy one?

Have a 10AM mtg in Tallahassee tomorrow morning, but I won't be done with work til 10 tonight. Right now I'm thinking I'll drive to a little town called Moultrie and sleep in my car, then wake up at 7AM and keep driving. I'd also like to stop alongside the road and steal a cotton plant - I was amazed to see them growing in fields for the first time in my life last weekend. The sight inspires strong curiosity and morbid dread in me. As a hands-on historical project I'd like to get to know a cotton plant, the shape of its leaves, its smell, its sensitivity to rain and drought. We'll see.

Election has gotten ugly and its gone on too long. Edwards is promising that the modern day Lazarus will rise again, the liberal news media is taking biblical references literally, Sinclair is showing the nightmare about media conglomeration to be true and in return we lose more faith in the wisdom and judgement of the American people, Bush is wired for sound/oddly giggly/spanking the podium in a way that makes me worry for Laura Bush's tender hiney. Kerry is outing the Vice Presidents daughter. Folks are taking responsibility for other ppls ballots and then betraying it, or fulfilling it sloppily.

But who didn't know it would be ugly and we'd be oversaturated. Still gotta win.

Cats are still cute except that they keep getting reinfested with fleas, and She-ra coughed up a hairball this morning which Jack tried to eat. Not so cute. I've given up on fixing my template and have gone back to the generic; the title of this post is linked to something non-political and relaxing, if you'd like.

Here's to November 3rd. Vote Kerry, kids... vote Kerry.

- ATLMmim

Fun stories of the moment:

- is Bush wired for sound? Did he cheat during the debates? I love it.
- Media emergency: the Sinclair group is pulling regular programming next week to air Stolen Honor, an anti-Kerry shockumentary. This contravenes FCC law, and is a bit of a violation of the public trust.
Why take such radical steps? Two speculations:

1. They're Bush supporters.
2. Their economic survival depends on this election and the continuation of media consolodation under a republican guided FCC.

Whats a concerned voter to do?

- boycott. Some advertisers have pulled their money from Sinclair in response to customer agitation. I called up Progressive, my auto insurance company, and Victoria Secret, my occasional lingerie provider and registered my distaste as a customer.
- Write the FCC
- You can also write your Congressman or Senator to demand they do something about this, especially those with oversight of the FCC on the House and Senate Commerce committees.

Anyways, I've got to get off the blogosphere. This election is killing me. I'm away every weekend in Florida, my house is a mess, my office is a mess, laundry is done just enough so I have clean clothes... its a major distraction. Felt the same way 4 years ago. Got to get some work done so I can get out of here at 7 to go to biblestudy/debate. (Yes, I'm going to bible study again. I think)

So. To close out, below is an article by the conservative boston paper the Boston Herald.

Sinclair Kerry plans drawing Dem fire
By Greg Gatlin
Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Democrats took aim at Sinclair Broadcast Group yesterday, objecting to thebroadcaster's plan to air an anti-John Kerry [related, bio] documentary on its 62 TV stations just days before the election.
U.S. Rep. Edward Markey (D-Malden), called on Sinclair to reconsider its decision to make its stations pre-empt regular programming in favor of ``Stolen Honor: Wounds that Never Heal,'' a documentary featuring former Vietnam POWs criticizing Kerry's anti-war efforts. Markey also called on the Federal Communications Commission to act quickly to ascertain whether airing the show conforms with the law.
``There's a broad guideline that says broadcasters must serve the public interest,'' Markey told the Herald. ``The public interest is not served by having a one-sided, 90-minute, anti-John Kerry propaganda film'' before the election.
A group of 18 U.S. senators asked FCC Chairman Michael Powell to investigate Sinclair's move. Sinclair's television group owns ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox, UPN and WB affiliates, many in key battleground states. The Democratic National Committee was set to file a complaint with the Federal Election Commission.
But the Democratic party's outcry may carry little weight, given Sinclair's First Amendment rights, FCC insiders said yesterday. Until the show airs, there is no violation of equal-time rules for political candidates. The FCC wouldn't step in unless it got a complaint that a broadcaster gave time to one candidate, then refused a request by the opposing candidate for equal time.
Blocking the program before it airs could amount to censorship and violate Sinclair's First Amendment rights, sources said. An FCC spokesman didn't comment.
Sinclair made news earlier this year when it blocked its stations from running a ``Nightline'' program on which Ted Koppel read the names of American troops killed in Iraq. The company is a big contributor to the Bush campaign, the Center for Responsive Politics reported.
If Sinclair's chairman, David Smith, was hoping to impress Wall Street, it didn't work. Sinclair fell yesterday for the second day running, tumbling more than 1 percent in heavy volumes. Total wiped off the market value since the weekend: $25 million.
``It's very disappointing,'' one portfolio manager told the Herald yesterday. ``Now we'll probably see some liberal company respond. I wish these companies would just stay out of politics.''

Sinclair Broadcast Group Advertisers

Ugh. What can I say. Spread the word, get advertisers to boycott Sinclair. Put it on your friendster. Start a chain letter.

Why is SBG doing it? Because Kerry would clamp down on media consolidation. SBG is already losing money, they can't afford to have legal problems.

The Sinclair Broadcasting Group, a conservative broadcasting company that runs television stations in dozens of major television markets nationwide,
has ordered its stations to preempt other programming and air an anti-Kerry program days before Election Day.

This is Swift Boat Veterans part II, and swift boat was devastating to the Kerry campaign - he would have won if the election was held before Swift boat ads and coverage came out. The sad part is that, partisan views aside, the objective empiricist in me knows that this is an utter load of crap.

Lil' break from the presidential debate and a quick look at my local senate race:

"Democratic" senator Zell Miller decided to give up a safe seat and in return the Republicans decided to let him nominate George Bush at the RNC. Miller had previously said he should have switched to the Republican party long ago since he usually votes with them, but he was too old. It looks like the GOP is going to get an official seat to replace the de facto one it had.

from Rasmussen poll taken Oct 5.
D Denise Majette (42%)
R Johnny Isakson (54%)

In Florida, the numbers are so nice. Energize 700 new voters, and you win the presidency. Here in GA, not so nice.

Active voters: 4,004,273.00
Inactive voters: 766,827.00
TOTAL voters: 4,771,100.00

Majette voters: 1,681,794.66
Isakson voters: 2,162,307.42

Votes needed to bitchslap Zell Miller in 23 days: 480,513 - or over half of the inactive voters.

Thats a lot of votes. Thats like, 3 degrees of friendsters.

PS: if you're gonna vote and you don't have a GA state license, bring your passport, or one of the following: http://www.co.fulton.ga.us/news_events/news_detail_T401_R288.html

Q.: What happens when you apply yourself to a thinker, in writing?

A.: I will try to answer your question - later. First: I am applied Derrida. A conference on me, where I am here... why do they want me to be here, to listen to my name? Let me postpone the answer to this question. [...] It is not application, but dissemination. I learned a lot from the papers. But why did I come here unprepared, with fake notes [holds up an empty sheet of paper]? I didn't want to apply something already, I wanted to come as naked as possible [takes off jacket]. Nakedness: purity and pornography. As usual, Geoff has said everything before I open my mouth, and I try to be unpredictable, which is impossible after him. When you come to a conference on APPLIED YOU, it is as if you're dead. I would like to see what it is like when I am dead. That's why I came.
To relate to an object _as such_ is to pretend that you are dead. I wanted to meet [conference organizer] Julian Wolfreys, but the condition of that was to be quasi-dead. Why are we afraid of death? It is scaring to imagine the end of the world. But what is more scaring is that we will continue to be dead, while attending the world going on, while looking at things... At the same time, it is the most reassuring thing.
If I am applied Derrida, how can I bear being here? It's unbearable. To be dead without being dead: unburyable. The as if, als ob, the quasi is what protects us. On the one hand, there is no applied deconstruction. You have to perform in your language and situation. I don't forget your question. On the other hand, there is nothing but application. You can only apply deconstruction. Now, Derrida Applied - that's something else. If I apply myself, in a deconstructive gesture, it is in a singular and unique performative event. But as you know, because of the law of iterability [microphone feedback], it is immediately applicable. A moment ago, I mentioned dissemination as opposed to application. Dissemination and the supplement exceed polysemy.
If my family name seems to refer to this iterability, it is not mine. And when I say that I am applied Derrida, the name was applied to my body. I love this name, but I ask myself, why are you working so hard, attending conferences, writing a lot? Maybe because the name, in a way, had to be coined and invented for myself, at the same time unique and iterable. That's what I can do to honour the name. And here I arrive at your question.
So when I read (I have been reproached for not writing in my name), the feeling of duty is to countersign, to be true, in the sense of fidelity, to the other. I am before them as I am before the law, the others are the law, because they are before me. Accepting the gift is to countersign. This is a totally spectral structure.
I don't know what will happen to the name Derrida after this. I'll try to survive. - The theme of responsibility is a very enigmatic one which we cannot unfold here. First, the proper name (which doesn't belong to anyone) names a responsibility, for the name of the other and to the other. Autonomy, Heteronomy. The enigma of responsibility lies in this aporia: that you are applied to.
If a decision is the impossible, it must occur in the form of a certain passivity. This doesn't exculpate or exonerate me at all. I am summoned, I receive an injunction, of someone who is not there. Obeying the dead, that's the problem. Of course, a limited responsibility is irresponsible. For responsibility to be responsible you have to try to know the maximum, but it goes beyond the limit. It must be infinite, beyond theoretical certainty. I am very happy there is a conference to do with deconstruction. I have heard it's on the wane, dying, for the last 30 years. I tell you, it is dead. If there is a difference between deconstruction and any other fashion, discipline and so forth, it is that it started with dying.

- Interview with Jaques Derrida @ 'Applied Derrida' conference held in 1995

Sat AM I drove to Tallahassee FL to help out the election in a real, bona fide swing state. Heres a list of the folks I met there:

Yoko Ono: My host mom. Middle aged Japanese american married to a much younger white guy nicknamed Papi. Wore a see-through white shirt, a serpent belt, black capris and no bra. Talked about republicans in terms of Chakras. Nice house. 2 bookcases of cheesy sci fi in the guest room that kept me up all night. Made me green tea and croissants with apricot jam and grapefruit juice in the morning.

Papi: lucky sonofabitch, married well, nice smile.

Shelby: Volunteer coordinator. Obnoxious 19? year old who was working the election to rebel against her republican parents. Did not introduce herself to me until I had asked her name about 3 times. Closed the office at 5PM on Friday. after the various volunteers had finished watching the football game.

JC: Events Coordinator. Nice kid, my age, didn't talk much with him, but he saw me as useful. Has a fiance but froze whenever I looked at him. Adorable. Selling a condo in Buckhead; we made the ATL connection.

Trevor: 21 year old, patrician cheekbones, healthy glow. I didn't bother to ask him if he wanted a latte from starbucks; his skin tone announced that he did not let diuretic stimulants pollute his metabolism. Already a career politician. I made a joke that coffee was like cocaine; he quickly made sure to establish that he would have no basis for comparison.

Jamie Oliver: volunteer coordinator - charming english accent, young as fuck.

LC: MIA. out of state volunteer coordinator. She took vacation last week, was at a wedding on Sat, but thats all I got because then her phone died. Overheard two conversations where she called up the folks who were actually there on Sun, working, and freaked out about her personal life. I wanted to grab the phone and tell her, "look, that restraining order isn't going to come into effect for 23 days, move your toothbrush your girlfriends house, get your ass in here and work. What are you, a republican plant?'

Shawn: The other Kerry traveler, but DNC staff. Lives out of his nice car, has a phone cord permanently plugged into his ear. Paranoid, lots of suggestive silences. Implied that I was a republican plant after the folks started trusting me too much, and gave me access to all there shared drives and voter data so that I could clean shit up.

Anyways, I had a great trip, but I was pretty appalled by the level of disorganization there.

So heres a shocker: last night I went to bible study with Ben, the boy. Janey, Ben's neighbor was the lovely host. Janey's a very hip southern girl who has recently separated from her husband and decided she needs spiritual healing. So she's started meditating and invited her friends to come round last night to share the god-love, or something. I've been to bible studys before, actually one, also in Georgia - go figure - and it was really, really nice. Nobody pressured me and at the end they prayed for me and I totally felt the love.

I was a little nervous about going to Janey's though. I'm unitarian universalist, Janeys only culturally christian, and Ben's Jewish. I wasn't sure who else was coming, but I knew the pretty blond coke addict from down the street was, and the whole concept for the evening wasn't quite coming together for me. But I figured that divorce is a tough, tough thing, so I'd better go and offer what spiritual healing I could summon anyways.

I got in late, didn't have time to change so I was stuck in my icky work suit. Mingling was mingling.. I was happy to see that Janeys cat was still kicking it - he's FIV positive, and for some reason walking by a few months ago I'd mistaken one of her painted pots in the garden for a kitty tombstone. I had a few glasses of wine, everyone was catching up and talking about how they quit smoking cigarettes, which just made me start fiending for one. Then Brie chimed in with, "wow, everyones quitting smoking. I quit doing coke everyday! Kidding..." at which point I went out to the patio and had a smoke. A couple people joined me.

Janey rounded us up into the living room. We did some singing, except nobody sang. Then Dia gave a little background info on the Bible. Dia's a certified pastor, which is a revelation in and of itself, but thats another story. Anyways, so he was running the show. Dia tells about who wrote which bits of the bible when, and which bits got dropped when by who, etc. etc. , how certain books got canonized by which denominations. I'm real curious about the Greek Orthodoxes because I had a lot of fun doing Easter in crete one year and I have a funny suspicion that everything I don't like about the practice christianity started with the pope. But that conversation didn't go to far.

Torah vs. Bible gathered a little more speed. We had Ben rooting for the God of Wrath, Janey saying she only likes the nicer, kinder god and wondering whether that can be considered faith, Dia rooting for the god of sin, rules and expectations, me rooting for narrative/textual interpretations. Finally Brie asks the critical question: 'So, Ben, is it that Jews don't believe in Jesus?'

Anyways, we all laughed. Brie looked really embarrased, but what could we do - it was a really stupid question - and so we moved on to the next topic. Dia asks everyone to talk about why they feel reading the bible is/isn't a worthwhile experience. Ben's response: Judges 21-23. We all flip through our books to Judges 21, and its about Benjamin gettin' wives. Lots of 'em. Goof.

Alright, I'm tired so I'm going to sum up. Last night was really really really funny, and touching, but also super painful. The bible, like most major religious texts I've encountered, is not an easy book by far. Its like Finnegans wake. Or Mason Dixon. And its probably best read in the original hebrew/ aramaic/ greek. And we were all sitting around, coming up with ideas about god and ways of reading and we just don't have the education or the practice or the learning to really approach the text. In a way, we were lucky, because our ignorance united us. We got into our differing beliefs a little bit last night, and luckily I don't think anyone really caught on to the fact that the differences we were outlining are the kind of stuff that people fight wars over, burn houses over, lose elections over, ruin marriages over, etc. etc. I have no idea how that group of people can sit together and energize and bond the way people energize bond when they're all praying together. Its just not really possible. All I could think about how this is exactly the problem with the UU church - it lacks a unified spiritual community. For me, its pretty impossibe to find even a small one.

Anyways. I got feeling way overextended and extremely hollow at the end, and I sat on the couch by myself for a few minutes. Ben checked in on me, and I told him my blood sugar was crashing and I just felt like petting the FIV infected cat by myself.

Then we left, went to the bar, had half BBQ chicken, fried okra and corn on the cob. And margaritas. Bible studys happening again Wednesday, I'll let you know if I go.

I always used to say that cats, lacking a theory of mind, are incapable of love. Got home from work last night late... kittys were inside sleeping. So cute. Jack is incredibly cute and cuddly when he's tired. He gives me all these sidelong looks, and then curls up on the futon. If you pick him up he makes this little soundless squeak and doesn't open his eyes.

So I'm walking around, snacking, tidying up (when I should be deep cleaning, really) and I realize theres fresh blood all over the kitchen floor. Its smeared where the kittys have tracked through it, and then there are bright red clots where they haven't.

I ask Jack and She-Ra why theres blood on the floor. No response.

I check my hands to see if I've cut myself.

Nope.

I do a full body check on the kittys, kinda like Sara Connor on John Connor as they're speeding away from the shootout at the mental institution. Four limbs, two eyes, tail, Check! Kittys are intact.

So I get the floor sponge and start scrubbing. I notice theres little pools in the corners of the wall, where a cat might bat something until it can't be batted any farther, and so they bat it really hard until it bounces out, and thats when I realize that my little darlings are all grown up, they've gone and killed me a present. I follow the trail of blood into the bedroom, over the vacuum cleaner, under the bed, and there it is: a slobber and blood covered chipmunk in all his dead glory, belly-up next to the bloody sci-fi page turner I borrowed last week from the boy.

Now thats love.

While I was browsing the departments of various grad programs, I came across an empirical analysis of cigarette addiction. Citation at foot - so funny. Price-elasticity as symptom... only in America. That is not really what its about, but anyways.

I'm at work right now, but I'm off task, as my therapist says. He has hinted that I have an executive function deficit - basically that I am ADD, but with a recommendation of a PDA instead of fun stimulant drugs.

So, like a good patient, I spent last week looking for a smartphone. At the start of September I had to duct tape the battery into my old Nokia. Last week the duct tape fell off, leaving a gooey residue. Between the sticky palms and the new diagnosis, I felt OK dropping some cash on a new phone. After the visions of $100 after-rebate blackberrys stopped dancing through my head, I purchased an LG VX4400 with a cheap long distance plan from Verizon. My VX is not going to organize me completely, but the little note pad keeps me vaguely on task and smooths the work-home transition. The phone also has some good alarms, including a timer I set when my mind starts to wander, so I don't go too far for too long.

A little disappointed with the therapist, overall. Together we avoid all hard topics in favor of the easy, behavioral stuff... getting out of bed, staying on task, setting boundaries, etc. I can't say it doesn't help, but somehow I feel like my time would be better spent flushing out the bugaboos and misapprehensions in my head.

The debate was great. Saw it with a good group at Manuels Tavern with about 300 other dems, a senator and a Fox News camera crew. Was wondering how the republicans would spin 'You forgot about Poland' and 'Saddam bin Laden,' so I watched Hannity and Colmes on Friday. Where did they dig Colmes up from? He looks like a half-rotted beagle who was trained to wag his tail when beaten. Anyways. Hannity 'interviewed' a rep from the Kerry campaign who could not keep a straight face... he kept cracking up at their whole shtick.

I was going to blog, but I felt politically sated, redeemed, and a little overwhelmed by the post-debate spin. Enough has been said. I'd like to see Cheney-Edwards tomorrow at the same bar, get drunk, then go to the Clairmont for some singing. We'll see.

In other news.... the hurricaines have passed for the meantime, revealing a stable and steadily declining temperature. I have a fanta bottle of Samoan coconut oil which is only liquid at about 80 degrees. This AM I woke up and saw that it had congealed overnight, for the first time since spring. Fall is here.
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An Empirical Analysis of Cigarette Addiction
Gary S. Becker; Michael Grossman; Kevin M. Murphy
The American Economic Review, Vol. 84, No. 3. (Jun., 1994), pp. 396-418.
Stable URL: http://links.jstor.org/sici?sici=0002-8282%28199406%2984%3A3%3C396%3AAEAOCA%3E2.0.CO%3B2-V
Abstract
To test a model of rational addiction, we examine whether lower past and future prices for cigarettes raise current cigarette consumption. The empirical results tend to support the implication of addictive behavior that cross price effects are negative and that long-run responses exceed short-run responses. Since the long-run price elasticity of demand is almost twice as large as the short-run price elasticity, the long-run increase in tax revenue from an increase in the federal excise tax on cigarettes is considerably smaller than the short-run increase.